Question: I’m having to explain to colleges that > while they are my top choices I will not be attending because of financial > problems. Some of you may think I’m bitching or whining. I am, but this is a > problem in America and it needs to be discussed. So I’ll be cramming into one of those public schools when I, like so many others, am qualified for higher-notch colleges. For security, I’m > not going to mention the specifics of my situation, but the financial aid > package was so far from reality that attending the college(s) of my choice was > virtually impossible. I could have gone but would graduate with a bachelor’s in > over $100,000 in student loans.

Answer: Ignoring your obvious bitterness, a few more facts of your situation would help explain things better. Without revealing private information, can you reveal how much financial aid was offered by the private colleges you wanted to attend? And a range that includes your family’s income? And whether your parents outright refused to pay or whether they merely decided to spend their money on other things. I ask because I and “Out West” can vouch for the fact that a middle class family earning a decent income can still receive more financial aid from private schools than from public ones. Some of that is needs-based but, in Out West’s case, his daughter’s awards were based on merit (my kids’ aid was a combination of need and merit).

Moreover, if you were my kid, I would never deny you the college of your choice based on cost. After all, your parents allowed you to apply to these schools, knowing the cost might be a problem but not impossible. I guess I would even go for the $100,000 in later debt, if it meant enough to me. You have not taken into consideration that your financial aid could have significantly increased after your freshman year, especially if you performed well.

I cannot bring myself to feel sorry for your situation. You chose it. Perhaps, you should consider doing well your first year in public school and transferring to the college of your choice. On the other hand, college can be what you make of it. You may find that what you settled for ends up being the best place for you. Let us know.

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